Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
