how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
