Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You're like the curious george of whores
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
