i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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