lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
