I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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