I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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