if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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