Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
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