I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
