No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
