I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
i think im in europe. pls send help
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
