I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
honey bunches of taint.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
