remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I didn't notice because vodka
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
