i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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