Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
