bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
