ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
