im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
