separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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