im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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