why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
