is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Someone shattered a urinal.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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