sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
