I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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