once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
