the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize
