Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
