Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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