dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
