I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But break dance skills will only take you so far
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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