i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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