Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize