He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
