just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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