I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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