I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize