I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
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