there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
