I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
