it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
