roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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