I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
