Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
