i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
