This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
