i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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