sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
