i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the day after is always just damage control
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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