I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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