I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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