Texts From Last Night

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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Don't make out with my wife yet

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  (205): Don't make out with my wife yet http://tfl.nu/oypy
  Replies (3) Good night (1052) Bad night (1074)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?

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  (563): his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off? http://tfl.nu/hp8b
  Replies (19) Good night (697) Bad night (4074)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.

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  (647): Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts. http://tfl.nu/g67r
  Replies (16) Good night (6543) Bad night (1095)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.

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  (847): Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines. http://tfl.nu/j7ab
  Replies (2) Good night (775) Bad night (2252)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car

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  (724): You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car http://tfl.nu/cede
  Replies (10) Good night (3412) Bad night (1335)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.

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  (310): Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well. http://tfl.nu/39wu
  Replies (20) Good night (7748) Bad night (832)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.

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  (917): I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration. http://tfl.nu/hksr
  Replies (5) Good night (932) Bad night (1781)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity

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  (813): If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity http://tfl.nu/nz31
  Replies (4) Good night (1143) Bad night (546)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.

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  (856): She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group. http://tfl.nu/inny
  Replies (11) Good night (547) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet

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  (626): I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet http://tfl.nu/8x4b
  Replies (0) Good night (635) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike

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  (301): I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike http://tfl.nu/9zq8
  Replies (4) Good night (1094) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.

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  (336): Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces. http://tfl.nu/v7yr
  Replies (5) Good night (776) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...

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  (847): He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose... http://tfl.nu/uj3n
  Replies (3) Good night (913) Bad night (476)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field

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  (973): Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field http://tfl.nu/t5vl
  Replies (0) Good night (530) Bad night (267)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.

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  (308): Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator. http://tfl.nu/h4v1
  Replies (2) Good night (280) Bad night (833)

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