Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.