If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
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my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
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I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.