Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?