i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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