so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
The air was thick with penises
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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