in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Randomize
