Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Randomize
